"Those who go down to the Sea... In Memory of my Father-in-Law, Marco Metzinger

by Miriam Metzinger | More from this Blogger

27 Apr 2007 01:48 AM

On the Rosh Chodesh Adar, in early March, I lost my father-in-law quite unexpectedly. He had a heart attack suddenly when he was swimming, although every morning he dutifully rose, did his excercizes and swam in the ocean without incident. On that day ended the life of a quiet and humble man who had reason to thank Hashem every day of his life, and was constantly aware of that fact.

I attended a lecture the other day, and the Rabbi discussed the custom of many chassidim not to deliver eulogies at funerals. The idea is that the soul of one who is connected to Hashem, the soul of a Jew, cannot be limited, and adjectives and descriptions do not truly convey a person's greatness. However, the rabbi added that eulogies are appropriate when it is clear that they are for the living rather than the deceased, when one can benefit from another's story.

We can learn from a man who saw Hell on Earth, who, with his entire family was captured by the Nazis and endured the horrors of forced labor in a concentration camp. Although they were fortunate to have been spared the infamous death camps such as Auschwitz or Treblinka, and instead were confined in labor camps, they witnessed collectively inhumanity which never should have existed. Thank G-d, my father-in-law's parents and siblings survived near starvation, illness and endless labor in the camps and emigrated to the land of Israel following the War to live the rest of their lives in relative peace.

In spite of the family's dreadful experiences, or perhaps because of, he and his father Avraham were always thankful for every day G-d gave them and were always in good spirits. While my father-in-law's father was not a religious man, he fulfilled the precept of our sages always to serve Hashem with joy and gladness.

Even after the war, my father-in-law suffered many injustices which he accepted with equanimity and faith. I never heard him complain about anything, although he had many inconveniences in his life, which included nearly losing his eyesight. He fulfilled one of the final prophecies written in the books of the Prophets, that the young would lead their parents back to observing Hashem's commandments. When my husband became religious, my father-in-law enthusiastically learned Torah as well, and one thing I will always remember about him is the way he painstakingly read every word of Grace After Meals even though he could barely see what was printed. It takes my husband 3 minutes to say Grace after Meals, but even though my father-in-law could barely see the words, he spent 5 or 6 times that amount of time and persisted until the end, even though a man in his condition would not have been required to say the whole prayer.

The last year of his life, my father-in-law went to synagogue for morning, afternoon and evening services. He observed Shabbat and became more careful about keeping kosher. During the reading of the Torah in shul, he asked for a blessing for all of his children and grandchildren. May the neshama, soul, of Mordechai ben Avraham have a complete aliyah, return to Gan Eden and give us all blessings there!

Learn more about Miriam Metzinger

Miriam is a freelance writer, a work-at-home mom and lives in Jerusalem with her two sons, Schneur Zalman (3), Yosef Yitzchak (6 months and counting) and her husband, Yehoshua, who is a rabbi and i...

View Full Profile | More from this Blogger